When Does Dating Develop Into A Relationship?
First off let’s establish what we mean by the terms ‘dating ‘ and ‘relationships’. When does a date become a relationship? On the 3rd or 4th date? When you’ve slept together? When you have both agreed to move on to the following stage?
While all of these factors come into play, like anything else in the dating world, it’s not an exact science. It tends be a mutual thing, a fixed approval by you and your fellow that your relationship is special, likely exclusive and going somewhere. It can still be exciting of course, but there are beliefs that are made — like Mondays are flick nights or Fri. evenings are spent independently of each other. By this stage you are probably not wondering about whether he’ll ever call again, you know that he favors pants to boxers and whether he takes sugar in his coffee. If you haven’t met any of his mates, have no idea which soccer team he supports, or whether he’s still playing the field, then you are probably still in the dating phase.
You need to remember that while finding a fellow to date is a real challenge , it’s not a competition. Enjoy the pursuit, the goal setting and the excitement – but don’t let yourself believe that in you are in a race to some type of finishing post with your other girlfriends.
It is often right that when you’re in a functioning relationship, you seem to be more popular and enticing than when you are single. This is thanks to the fact that being part of a pair seems to show that you are appealing and successful. And ironically you frequently become more fascinating to other men. This is in part because of the proven fact that a lady who is spoken for is often the ultimate challenge to another guy — their competitive genes often outweigh their common-sense and in part because of the safety component of being able to relax, chat and even flirt with someone that, because they are dating one of their buddies, is unlikely to put any claims on them. This additional appeal though, is also down to the natural self confidence that people give off when they’re content and in a relationship that makes them feel happy.
Dating is great: it’s fun, it has its own special momentum and it doesn’t have to lead straight to a much more serious relationship. It may naturally, but part of the fun is just enjoying your time together, the findings that you make about one another and the sheer, straightforward pleasure of not being made to wonder whether he is ‘the one ‘ or where it could be leading. Always remember that a date is just for a couple of hours, not for the rest of your life. What do you have to lose? (And incidentally, this is the same dating advice for men as it is for girls.).
Susan Pinner is a dating coach and correspondent on subjects like how to attract women, and popular dating manuals like Guy Gets Girl.
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