The Dating Recipe
It’s funny to admit it here, but I am not a real fan of the dating formula. The formula goes like this: you get asked “out”; you get dressed up – so does he; neither of you acts normal for the rest of the evening and the date is such a distraction that you will never enjoy the play, symphony, movie, and all. If the scene you acted out the entire evening was in a movie or a television show, you would never believe it was real.
My preference is to date people who do not fit that criteria. One ideal dating method is volunteering. Or, “I’ve got this thing I’ve got to go to for work…” The greatest date I’ve had was, “Hey, I have to go to Nashville to get a SCUBA tank regulator, do you want to join me?” What I loved about these dates was that I was asked out on them as the person just really enjoyed my company and felt that if I were with them, whatever they were doing would be more fun.
These kinds of dates can be dangerous, so be careful about saying, “yes.” This should ideally be with someone that you also feel makes any task more enjoyable. These are good, “change a buddy into another thing,” chances. However, there is nothing more romantic than being out at some event – like a volunteer opportunity – and having the guy who’s interested in you getting you coffee, checking in how you’re doing, etc. If they make it obvious that the two of you are there “together” it’s a fantastic feeling, much more romantic than flowers and candy and a trip to an Opera you didn’t have any interest in any way.
One of the best things about these kinds of dates is that both of you have something else to do with yourselves. You have time to be together as well as to enjoy that before all the pressure of “tell me about yourself.” And, if this date is good, you may always stop at a coffee shop after to find out additional information regarding one another.
These after-event debriefing coffees can also help you cut through the manner that can sound the same after dating many different people. You will have both shared the same experience. Talking through it – what you each found funny or irritating or inspiring. This will definitely give you some idea about whether or not you share a similar view onto the world.
It is also really helpful to pass this preference along to friends who try to set you up. It acts like a pre-screener. If you like environmental organizations and the “set up” date won’t meet you at an Earth Day volunteer booth”you may already have all the information you needed without having to suffer through a date.
And, in the end, I like having memories that did not come out of a greeting card or a jewelry add. I am me, and I want my love life to be unique – not a cookie-cutter version of what other person thinks the dating formula should add up to.
If you want more information, you can find out about my experience as an family law attorney in Austin Texas. You can also get a free copy of our Austin Divorce Guide Audio CD at TruslerLegal.com. Learn how a Austin collaborative divorce lawyer can guide you through the divorce process with dignity.
Tags: dating, Dating Formula, dating tips
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