The Path To Success

1. Lower your expectations. Flirting will be great fun, provided you don’t take it too seriously. Mostly, you’ll just flirt with someone for a short period and then maybe never talk to them again. You’re heading for disappointment if you expect your flirting to always result in a date with the person you’re flirting with – and you’re going to appear more than a little desperate. Do not forget, you’re just flirting.

2. Look approachable. Stay calm and smile. Use your body language to demonstrate what a fun person you are, and to show that you’re relaxed and confident. There’s absolutely nothing to be nervous about.

3. Read body language. Does the person appear approachable? Do they seem to be interested in you? When you see someone with whom you might want to flirt, start to read his or her body language immediately. Once you’re actually flirting with the person, body language is often the only way to tell if the person is actually interested in you . Everyone has an inborn ability to read body language, but it’s easy to misinterpret signs, so be very cautious and proceed slowly. If you see one signal that indicates the person is interested in you, watch for other signals that might confirm that.

4. Make contact with your eyes, but only for a moment or two. Do not stare. Just shoot the person a quick gaze, smile with your eyes, and then slowly look away. When you look back and notice the person looking back to meet your eyes, then they’re likely interested in flirting a bit.

5. Initiate a conversation with the person you’re interested in. If you don’t already know them simply make small talk. Probably the best way to get a conversation started is to make a simple observation that ends with a question, “Lovely day, isn’t it?” or ” It sure is packed here?” are just two examples. Its not important what you say. It’s not that you need this question answering, you’re just inviting this person to enter into a conversation with you. If the person’s response is pleasant, then continue the conversation. If you get no response , or the person seems like their mind is elsewhere, then they’re probably not interested in flirting with you. At the start of your chat, don’t refer to anything personal. Chat about the place you’re in or the tv show you watched last night, you get the idea., but avoid talking about yourself and do not ask them personal questions.

6. Gradually share information about yourself in a reciprocal manner. If the chat is going well, then volunteer a little information about yourself – nothing too big maybe how you earn a living or your favourite tv show, are good examples. There will be a point, however, when you will want to introduce yourself and, with a bit of luck, discover the other person’s name. Before you can share information it is crucial that you both gradually open up. Take it in turns to talk, and everytime the other person volunteers some personal information, reciprocate and maybe go a little further than the other person in terms of the amount of information you give. As an example, say you’re talking to a girl who tells you that she’s taking summer classes, you might want to share that you’re also taking summer classes, and then go on to tell her about the class which excites you most. She now has an opportunity to disclose more about herself. In this manner, the intimacy of the conversation increases over time. Be careful not to share too much about yourself too quickly, and don’t encourage the other person to do so either.

7. Give the person the focus of your attention. Laugh at their jokes, listen to their stories, and don’t get distracted by anything else going on around you. Try not to hog the conversation, it’s more important that you appear interested than you appear interesting. Being a good listener has more relevance to successful flirting than being witty.

8. Let your body language hint at your romantic intentions. If things are going really well, you might want to try to break the touch barrier. For a brief moment, gently touch his or her arm as you talk. Or be more assertive and hold the person’s hand when you cross the street, or if walking to a seat or a table, lead them by gently holding their arm. The personal space barrier can be broken by touching in this way. Some people have issues about “personal space”, so look out for warning signs as you don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable. Generally it is easier for women to get away with touching early in a conversation, than it is for men. Many women feel a little threatened when a man they just met enters their personal space, while most men are more open to being touched. In any case, proceed with caution, and back off if you get negative or mixed signals from the person.

9. Close the deal. Most of the time flirting is just harmless fun, and hardly anything comes of it. Once in a while, you’ll encounter someone you’d really like to see again, and who seems to want to see you again too. Flirting is, after all, a type of courting ritual, a way to meet potential boyfriends or girlfriends, maybe even your future spouse. It’s not time to make wedding plans yet, though, begin by obtaining the other person’s phone number. This is the hardest part for most people, because you have to be open about your intentions, and so risk rejection. Be brave. Tell the person you’d like to see him or her again, and just ask for their phone number or, if it feels right, try to set up a date for some future time. If they’re not interested don’t press it. Don’t despair, there will always be another guy or girl to flirt with.

Whilst this article advises women on how to flirt with men, men flirting with women can very often benefit from the same advice.

Take This Advice

* What you say is not over important (provided it’s not totally stupid), but it is vital that you keep your conversation positive. Really try not to come across as arrogant, negative, or pushy; simply be friendly.

* When you first start talking with someone, don’t aim to flirt. Simply aim to have a conversation. This will remove a lot of pressure from the both of you.

* Do not pursue anyone if they do not reciprocate. If the person doesn’t appear interested then walk away. Don’t presume they’re playing “hard to get” because they might interpret any pushiness in a negative light.

* Compliments can go a very long way. It’s a fantastic idea to pay the person a compliment while you’re talking, but only if you mean it, and avoid embarrassing compliments (about a woman’s figure, say).

* Try giving them your number if you’re not comfortable asking for theirs. If they are truly interested in you they will give you a call. You could also remove the pressure and allow the conversation to continue by passing them your email address.

Be Warned, There Are Pitfalls!

* Never flirt with someone who you are certain that you’re not romantically interested in, period. Otherwise, you risk accidentally leading them on, which can lead to an embarrassing moment and uncomfortable interactions afterwards. But still remember that you are not getting married, yet. Flirting is like compliments, in that it should have a kind of sincerity attached to it. Flirt with people who seem different than you or who you do not know much about, and they could surprise you.

* Use flirting that is appropriate for the setting. Holding down a conversation would be difficult if you met at a library or disco, for example. In these circumstances, smile, act interested, and wait for a spontaneous opportunity to meet at the bar or in the lobby. However, be careful not to appear to be a stalker or you will scare them away.

* Flirting is not always appropriate. Funerals, for example, are generally not good places to flirt. Flirting at work is generally taboo. If you’re tempted to flirt at work, then be careful, and don’t push too hard if the other person shows no interest.

* Though humor is often a good way to flirt with people, try not to make any jokes that might make your flirting recipient uncomfortable. Though dirty jokes often come to mind when flirting with someone, they often have little or no place in a conversation and can result either in the person being turned off or in an awkward silence, killing the mood and making you feel embarrassed. Choose your words carefully, and remember, it’s not necessary for you to be funny all the time.

Dating article from: Adult Singles

Could I Learn How To Flirt?