How To Maintain A Viable, Growing And Endearing Relationship
In our culture, relationships are surrounded by romance and sexuality. It doesn’t mean that sex and romance are bad. It is quite the opposite. There are some foundations that need to be firmly established for the long term success of a long term commitment.
People have “hard wired” needs since birth. The requirement for bonding with our moms and dads is one of these. Bonding “also referred to as attachment” is physical, chemical as well as emotional. Also it is useful for extremely vital cause. We bond with our parents who protect us when we are small and can’t protect ourselves.
We experience many of the same chemical reactions inside our bodies when we fall in love with another person. We succeed always when we make ourselves near to the one we love. We miss them dearly after they have been gone for a while. But as time progresses, things may be different. If we do not obtain what is necessary from the one we love, we could feel hurt, abandoned, and ashamed even for requiring too much. On the other hand, we could feel smothered, frustrated, harassed, or cursed when we do not meet our partner’s expectations.
Most of the time, when a couple comes to therapy, one member feels that their needs aren’t being met, while the other feels smothered. This is an indication of a couple of alternative attachment styles. Persons requiring connection is relaxed when they are near their partner. The more your partner seems to want your company, the more likely you are to feel as though you really matter. Some claustrophobic people not only don’t need others to feel comfortable but find that their presence prevents this from happening.
If these aren’t resolved couple may find themselves constantly fighting, having affairs, or hiding in their work.
Conventional communication books and therapies are unable to assist couples with this dynamic as the root of the issue isn’t communicating. It is in attachment.
It is possible for couples to work through their differences. Getting professional help with an attachment perspective is important. Recent therapies with this emphasis consist of EFT/Emotionally Focused Therapy, AEDP/Accelerated Experimental Dynamic Therapy and also others “inquire with the therapists if and how they use attachment in couples counseling.
Couples who have a strong relationship know how to do some things really good. Create a security by practicing loyalty, comforting, and reliability. Affection and soft, slow talk are the best ways to soothe each other’s stresses and insecurities. Go out of your way to ensure that you make each other feel loved. Realize and repair the hurt feelings through sincere and caring type of apologies.
Any couple bent on preserving a strong and healthy relationship can, by working with a therapist who understands how couples bond with each other, learn these skills and practice new ways to relate to one another.
If you want more information, you can find out about my experience as an family law attorney in The Woodlands Texas. If you haven’t found what you’re looking for when it comes to a collaborative divorce,, you can review our Woodlands collaborative family law page.
Tags: dating, relationship
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