Adult Singles » Parenting

Advantages of Single Parent Families

admin — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 05:13:47 +0000

Annie Parron asked:

Single parents often worry that their children will somehow be damaged from living in a single parent family. While a single parent family may not be the ideal situation for raising children, many two-parent families are also less than desirable. Kids can actually benefit from living in a single parent family.

Results of studies have indicated that a home filled with conflict is the least desirable home environment for children. When the child’s prior two-parent household included frequent fighting and discord between the adults, the child can benefit from living in a one-parent home provided that the conflict is stopped. A parent who is no longer devoting time to warring with a partner may have more energy to give to the kids. Children observe adult relationships and usually apply what they have learned to their own relationships as adults. By residing with only one parent, the child may actually have a chance to observe healthier adult relationships.

Children learn valuable lessons from dealing with hard times and having different lifestyle from many of their peers Your family may not represent the stereotypical American family, but there can still be lots of love and fun in your home.

A single parent may actually have more time for the kids that a married parent would have. Since there is no longer a spouse around at mealtime, meals don’t have to be as substantial and can be structured around kid-friendly ingredients. If your former partner was not very involved with housework, you may have more time since you now have one less person to care for. Financial worries may actually be fewer. Yes, you have less income, but you also have total control over the expenditures that you may not have had while with your partner.

The opportunity to spend time in two separate homes can be a good experience for your children. They will see different approaches to life and hopefully, take the best of both homes to use in establishing their own households as adults.

Often, a child with parents who live apart will gain a stepparent or two. Your child’s extended family will then be even larger, giving her more chances to develop meaningful relationships with caring adults. Your kids may even get exposure to new ideas or experiences that could ultimately lead to a career or hobby for your child.

Kids who live with only one parent tend to develop independence faster than their peers. Since the parent will probably have a job and other many other duties on their plate, the kids may have to learn to do things for themselves such as preparing a simple meal or participating in household chores. Kids with stay-at-home parents or two parents in the home may not have as many opportunities to take part in the day-to-day responsibilities of running a household. The kids also learn that they need to be ready to take care of themselves, since they, too, could end up on their own or in a single parenting situation someday.

A favorite benefit of many kids from single parent families is that they often get two or more celebrations for each holiday. They may get two sets of gifts at Christmas, often getting more stuff than they would have if the parents were together. Two Easter baskets, valentine’s gifts, etc., are also enjoyed by many of these children.

Two-parent homes can often provide many advantages. However, single parent homes can offer many opportunities for self-growth for children along with other benefits. You can commiserate with your kids about their ?different? lifestyle from their peers, but be sure to stress the advantages of their situation, too, along with offering lots of love. Your family can be a successful as a single parent family!

Dating article from: Adult Singles

Advantages of Single Parent Families

College Scholarships and Educational Assistance For Single Parents

admin — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:31:41 +0000

Jennifer A. Gardner asked:

There are number of programs available to assist single parents in improving their educational standards. For lone parent considering such prospects, you have a number of options with you.

The National Pell grant program is established to support low and middle income single parents to study in college. Their grants ranges starting from $400 up to $4,300 depending on your income and family strength. The college you want to join will require you to submit a full financial statement. Your income will be greater as you are the single bread winner for a family unit of 4 rather than living alone. FAFSA is the standard form used for this purpose by all the schools which provide financial support. To run this program with uniform justice these forms are standardized and in this way all the institutions can judge the applicants in an equal manner. All you have to do is to select your school, apply on the form and if you are on the merit you can start off.

Student loan is another way to finance studies for single parents. These low interest loans are supportive as they usually have minimum interest rate and return of payments are postponed till graduation or if you are unable to attend the compulsory number of hours. If you are looking for the loan it is mandatory to be careful about the terms and conditions. If you are unaware about the terms, try getting some assistance first. Most of these are mandatory to return and you cannot get rid of student loans by filing bankruptcy. Adding up of interest will result in piling up of hundreds of dollars to be paid back. Private student loans are one such type of loan in which there are variable interest rates, moreover the terms are not as good as standard federal student loans.

A number of single parents decide to return to college and a number of adult scholarships are available to support them. You need not pay to look for these scholarships as you can get the help of certain non profit organizations. These agencies are available allover the country. One such agency is CFNC.org which mainly looks after residents of North Carolina. Similar websites assist lone parents as well as other students to find student scholarships.

In general a large number of single parents decide to resume the college either to acquire a degree or to get a higher qualification. The aim is to increase their job prospects. Pell grant, student loans and adult scholarships are all viable options for low or middle income single parents. Some options out of these are for specific groups such as single mothers. The idea is to use as much free assistance as possible to find the best option and then to look for the correct place to find it. This is where admission offices of various schools come to your help as they are keener to teach committed adults as compared to non serious young ones.

Dating article from: Adult Singles

College Scholarships and Educational Assistance For Single Parents

Single Parents Dating – Reasons To Date Single Parents

admin — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 16:26:20 +0000

Abhishek Agarwal asked:

I admire and respect single parents. They overcome many hardships and challenges, which they face with grace, all the while caring for their children and creating a safe, happy family.

But, you know, single parents are human. They have human emotions and human needs. They need love and affection not only from their children but from other adults who are not also relatives. Like most of us, they need a companion for their life journey.

Some people tell me it’s not right or appropriate for single parents to go on dates. They say that the time for dating in single parent’s life has passed – that the family and children are everything. They tell me that single parents who date are promiscuous or irresponsible.

I strongly disagree. I think single parents have as much right to a social life as anyone. After all, they are single, aren’t they?

Everyone needs love, and most of us want a partner in life. To let society’s whims force us to be lonely is wrong. Single people have a right to be happy and to find someone who will want to help them and support their children.

When you’re the only adult in a household, raising a family is hard. Kids really need two parents when they’re growing up to get a healthy balance of role models and realistic ideas about gender issues. A single parent can’t give that to their children.

And children always grow up and move away. They have families and lives of their own. If a single parent shouldn’t date, you’re saying they are doomed to grow old alone. That just doesn’t seem right.

Some people seem to think that single parents must meet different standards than the rest of us. They may think single parents are immoral people just because they have children and aren’t married. Single moms get criticized for getting pregnant too early or getting pregnant without a husband. Single dads may be accused of being irresponsible or of being more likely to cheat in a relationship. What are people thinking?

The truth is that almost all single parents are hard-working responsible people who care about their families and love their children deeply. They work hard to make a good living for their family and to balance work with school functions with no one to share the burden. It just makes me mad when I hear people judging others for what they assume to be personal mistakes. It just isn’t so.

But single parents may be the best potential mates a person could find. They are mature and responsible. They are obviously committed to their families and children, or they wouldn’t be struggling with the single-parent lifestyle now. It’s the best thing in the world when a single parent dates and finds a partner to build a new life and a strong, normal family.

Finding a partner isn’t easy for single parents. First, they are carrying some baggage from their previous relationship. Whether it ended in death or divorce, there are feelings and habits to break. Second, they have children, which can be a real problem for some singles who don’t have children.

When you’re dating a single parent, you have to accept that they have another set of important priorities in their daily life. You may be tempted to try to compete with them. But that would be a mistake, because you’d always lose. The best thing to do is to accept them for who they are and what their life is like today.

You need to recognize that they love their children very much, and you need to respect that. After you meet the children and get to know them, you will most likely love them too. After all, when you’re in a serious relationship with a single parent, you’re really in a relationship with a family. The kids come with the package.

You may have to deal with some single-parent-specific issues if you want a serious long-term relationship with them. They may have been hurt badly in the past, and they could have some trust issues. You’ll have to show them over time that you can be trusted.

My guess is that you’ll have to demonstrate your maturity, responsibility, and loving nature before a real relationship can get off the ground. And once you gain their trust, you’ll have to earn the trust of their children. That could be even more difficult, since the kids may thing you’re trying to replace the missing parent in their hearts.

The kids will be protective and possessive of their single parent. You might as well be prepared for that. They may suspect that you have evil intentions. Or if the previous relationship was marked with a lot of fighting or violence, they may fear a repeat of those very uncomfortable times.

By being a friend without being pushy, you may be able to begin a relationship with the children. You’ll have to be tolerant of and patient with their moods and suspicion. You’ll have to be loving at the same time you acknowledge they already have (or had) another parent. You’ll have to take it slow with the kids, one step at a time, to build a relationship that will someday be a strong foundation for the happy, healthy family you hope to have with their single parent.

Dating article from: Adult Singles

Single Parents Dating – Reasons To Date Single Parents

Single Parent Challenges – How To Face Various Problems

admin — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 08:31:17 +0000

Abhishek Agarwal asked:

Being a single parent involves many difficult challenges. It’s even harder than it looks. Single parents deal with challenges all day, every day. Many of those challenges arise from being not only single but a parent. There are children to care for and take care of. And because you are the only parent, everything you do carries greater weight.

No matter what you do, as a single parent, you must think of its effect on your children. You must be diligent in keeping up with their activities and their thoughts as they grow up in a single-parent home. In fact, the biggest challenge of being a single parent is the effect of your status on your children.

The transition to a single-parent family is difficult for kids. They may feel abandoned or insecure. They may feel isolated and different from other kids, even if there are more single-parent families than ever before.

Your children may resent you for the loss of your spouse, or they may have unresolved issues with the missing parent. As a single parent, it’s your job to keep them talking about what’s going on with them and what they think. Even though they may resist, you need to get them to talk to you about their worries, their fears, and their anger.

And you need to let them know they’re all right. They’re normal kids despite their circumstances. They aren’t responsible for the change, and they don’t have to make up for it. You should give them as normal a childhood as possible and be a role model. Even when they don’t act that way, they look to you as their example of what a grown-up is and does.

Your kids need to know you’re there for them, no matter what. You have a busy schedule trying to earn a living and manage the household. But you must never be too busy for your children. Even when you are in financial trouble, the job can’t take priority over the kids. They need to know how important they are to you. They need to know you love them more than anything else.

You’re going to have to build a new relationship with your children. As a single parent, you’re the only source of affection and guidance in the home. Even if you weren’t close before, you’re going to have to get close now. One good way to do that is to do lots of fun family activities.

Another way that will help the whole family is to assign specific chores to your children that will help keep the household running efficiently. Giving them responsibility will help them feel that they belong and that they are important. It will also give them a sense of accomplishment necessary to build a healthy self-image.

Single parents need to admit that they need help and then get help. You can’t do everything by yourself. Trying to may ruin your health, your attitude, and your relationships with your children. Getting to know your neighbors is a great way to find people who can help you look after the kids when you must be away. Neighbors can also help with household repairs and yard work.

Your neighbors may also be adult companions and role models for your children, but you must be careful. Get to know your neighbors well before you allow your children to be alone with them. Remember that the world is a more dangerous place than it was when you were a child. There’s no substitute for good parental judgment.

Time is the enemy when you’re a single parent. You probably have to work, and that means being outside the home a lot. Unless you have help, it also means your children may spend a lot of time at home alone. You’ll need to take extra precautions and lay out specific rules for time you’re not there.

Children who are alone a lot are vulnerable to drugs and criminal behavior. Gang activities are sky-rocketing. You’ll have to find a way to monitor your kids while you’re not home. This difficult challenge must be met head-on or your children may pay for it with their very lives.

You may have a challenge with your children’s attitudes about you as well. They may blame you for their situation or think you’re not doing things right. They may not show you the respect you want and expect. And they may feel cheated if you can’t attend special events like birthdays, PTA meetings, parent-teacher conferences, recitals, and other events that parents usually attend. These time pressures are especially difficult for single parents.

If you can’t make the time to make at least some of these events, it’s time to have a talk with the boss. Maybe you can work out a special work schedule or do some of your work at home. If you can’t find a solution with your current job, you may need to look for other more flexible working arrangements. If both are impossible, it’s important that your children know and understand why you can’t be with them. Be honest. They’ll understand the truth better than no explanation at all.

It’s important to remember that you can’t just give time to your kids. It must be quality time that helps them grow and mature. They need to know that you love them and that you need them. Never give them the idea that they’re a burden to you. Tell them often how much you love them. Listen to them. Ask them questions and listen to their answers. Show your interest in them as individuals. Even when time is limited, you can make the time you spend with them special and positive. It’s worth the trouble. And your reward is the love and respect of well-behaved, responsible children.

Even when life deals you and your children a bad hand, you can make life together enjoyable and productive. You can build healthy relationships with your kids and watch them become happy, productive young adults.

Despite the many hard challenges of being a single parent, you must always maintain your perspective and honor the most important priorities. It won’t always be hard or unpleasant. You’ll have many happy times and lots of love and laughter in your single-parent family as long as you keep a healthy positive attitude and keep on working toward a better life for you and your children.

Dating article from: Adult Singles

Single Parent Challenges – How To Face Various Problems

Single Parent’s Nightmare – How To Re-enter The Dating Scene

admin — Sat, 16 May 2009 05:44:30 +0000

Abhishek Agarwal asked:

Even when you knew it was coming, becoming a single parent can be an unexpected shock. A few years out of the dating scene, and you forget how to do it. Don’t feel different. It’s never easy to date, and dating as a new single parent is a real challenge.

It’s been years since you dressed up and went out with someone for a pleasant evening. You’ve forgotten what to say and what to do. You feel awkward and clumsy. You may have put on a few pounds or grown some new grey hairs. Let’s face it, you’re terrified.

Well, dating isn’t easy – even for singles without kids. It’s hard to meet people. It’s hard to know when someone’s safe and dependable. You never know what you’ll get until you go out, and then you’re stuck – at least for an hour or so. Dating’s just not the devil-may-care fun some people crack it up to be.

To be comfortable with dating, you have to have been dating for a while. You have to build up your dating repertoire. You have to exercise those social and emotional “dating muscles,” muscles that easily atrophy without regular use.

But don’t worry. It’ll be all right. All you need is some refreshers to get back into the dating game. A little conversation, a cup of coffee, a walk in the park – all you need is a few simple successes to regain confidence and tone those atrophied dating muscles. After some experience and some fun dates, you’ll be back in the swing of it.

Before you start dating again, though, you’ll want to do some inside work – you’ll want to get yourself in peak dating shape. Here are some tips that may get you off to the right start.

* Tie up loose ends.

Before you start dating and getting involved in new relationships, you want to be sure that your past is indeed your past. If you’re still reeling from rejection, abandonment, or tragic loss, you need to give yourself time to grieve and heal. It takes about a year for people to get through the normal grieving process, so don’t rush yourself. And if there are financial matters still up in the air, get them settled and done. You don’t want to start dating while you’re still trying to work out financial and legal details. Once you’ve gotten through the grief process and settled business matters, it’s time to move on with your life.

* Understand your motives.

Why do you want to date again? Is it because your best friend thinks you should? The only good reason to date is because you want to. Maybe you want simple companionship and someone to do things with. It’s okay if you’re not ready to enter into a serious relationship. In fact, you probably shouldn’t yet.

Are you so lonely that you’d go out with anyone? Loneliness isn’t a good reason for dating either. If you’re so desperate that you’ll say yes to the first one that comes along, you’re opening yourself up for disappointment, aggravation, and hurt. When you date, it’s because you want to spend time with another person because you like them and want to know them better. Unless you’re truly interested in a potential date, drop it.

When you want to date because you need time to relax with an interesting person, it’s time to start dating.

* Get your life in order.

Single parents have special responsibilities and demands. You have to balance the need to earn a living with the need to raise happy healthy children. There may seem to be little or no time left over for dating.

That’s why it’s important to set your priorities and set up a calendar. Planning to attend school functions, put in those extra hours at work, and have some social life is essential. As a single parent, those spur-of-the-moment dates are most likely impossible. Recognize the limitations and adjust your expectations.

You’ll be a much more interesting date if you’re not worried about yesterday’s laundry or tomorrow’s lunches. When you get the chance to go out for a pleasant romantic evening, you don’t want to be preoccupied with the chores and worries of the day. It’s your time to relax and have fun. Having and keeping up with a regular routine will help you do that.

You’ll also need to arrange for baby-sitters, let people know where you’ll be and when you’ll be back, and carry a cell phone with you for emergencies. Daters who are not also parents may not have those needs. These are things you can’t jump into. You need advance notice to get your life in order and be ready to relax and have fun on your special date.

* Stay Interested to Stay Interesting

Even though your schedule is tight and your days are full, you need to be a well-rounded person to be an interesting date. Be sure to take personal time and keep your mind active in spite of the household chaos. Read a book. Go to a lecture. Take the kids to a museum. Learn something new. Take on a new hobby that your kids will enjoy too. Making personal growth a family affair can’t be a losing proposition.

Maintain your friendships and family relationships. Even if you’re not dating, it’s important to have social contact with other adults. Invite your friends or family over for dinner or wrangle an invitation to go to their house. Plan some adult-only activities so that you can have adult conversations and keep up with current events. Stay active.

Take care of your health. Find ways to get regular exercise. Walks with the kids, visits to the local park or nature preserve, and workouts will keep you fit and healthy. You’ve got a lot of stress in your life, and exercise will help work that stress off and out. You’ll be a more relaxed human being if you are a healthy human being.

Life as a single parent can come suddenly, without warning. Even when you know it’s coming, it’s a shock when your whole life changes. When you have children, those changes come with heavy burdens and difficult challenges.

Returning to the dating scene can be a frightening experience, but you can learn to enjoy dating when you take the steps necessary to build a strong, stable lifestyle and family.

Dating article from: Adult Singles

Single Parent’s Nightmare – How To Re-enter The Dating Scene